Thursday, June 5, 2014

Day 37 Get Fit Challenge...hitting a motivational wall

You know how you start something new and it's exciting and fun because you don't know where it's going to lead you then about a month in you get over the honeymoon phase and you just kind of feel meh about the whole thing? That is what I am dealing with today with this fitness challenge...meh. My knees and lower back are in a constant state of sore, I am tired most of the day, and my workouts feel more like chores than exercise. I am worried that I am burning out and I'm only a month in to what is probably going to be an 8 month program and then the rest of my life trying to maintain. I got up this morning and seriously thought about not doing any workouts today or the next day or the next. Then I thought about all the people that I would disappoint by not seeing this out by giving up because I'm bored and over it because it has become monotonous. So I went to the gym, I did my workouts, and sadly I didn't feel better after I still felt, meh.

I think about what it will be like after I finish and I've reached my goals and all I see are the things I cannot do. I cannot eat carbs. I cannot miss a day at the gym. It makes me feel sad that for the rest of my life I am going to have to live like this if I want to be healthy. The idea of doing two a days for the rest of my life and never eating bread or cheese or potatoes or rice or ice cream or anything for that matter that is not a lean meat or vegetable depresses me. I loved food. I loved eating different foods and trying out new meals from all over the world and tasting all the flavors each country had to offer and how they blend into all that goodness on your plate. Now I hate food. I hate that I am limited and everything I eat tastes the same. Maybe this is the craving stage of things. Whatever it is if I don't figure out a way to get over it and get my motivation back it is going to be a very very long 7 months.


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